::the fail blogger::

During our first few days and weeks in Indonesia, whenever someone would commit some cultural or social faux pas, some of us engaged in identifying the event by saying, “fail blog!” [I think Irene may have mentioned this in her own blog, but the first time she heard that phrase, she said, “You have a fail blog??”] It’s not an actual blog, by the way. But since I am writing in mine, and I just made the confession (or I guess it was almost a month ago) that I am awkward, here’s a follow up post for some levity – and an update of sorts (only because people like Richard Yamada say that I should post more. Yup, that’s the parenthetical shout-out to Richard. Thanks for mentioning that you check my blog as much as you do! And of course, thanks to all of the other readers too!)

“I’ve never seen Mr. Bean but you remind me so much of him,” he said. The speaker met all of us only four months ago, and yet he was speaking to what everyone else who has known me for longer has endured quietly. I think that morning, he was talking about the fact that I had flipped the spoon in my coffee out onto the saucer somehow, almost knocked over my water glass, and almost fallen over while getting out of my chair at our retreat last week. Besides my last post and grasping my emotional awkwardness, I have been very familiar with my physical awkwardness over the years – and to people who know me well, it makes perfect sense that I love the movie “The Princess Diaries” because the protagonist is just as awkward and ungainly as I am, and vice versa.

To illustrate, I’ll share what I wish was a well-scripted scene from a sitcom... I caught a stomach virus shortly before Christmas a couple of weeks ago, and was being extremely conscientious of taking my antibiotics before and after each meal. While endeavoring to unscrew the cap of my Powerade bottle of electrolytes in order to take my medicine, I managed to fling the cap into a small receptacle with pink votive oil which functioned as our table’s fly repellent. Initially I was going to leave the cap as it was, but decided that I should at least fish it out so the plastic didn’t melt into the oil. I did successfully take hold of said cap with my fingers – but watched it sail through the air into the remainder of my food. Shortly afterward, I also managed to fall out of my chair. Other than utter embarrassment at the time of occurrence, I guess one thing about coming to grips with my chronic klutziness is that I can laugh about the fact that these things are real life and I don’t make them up.

I can't blame the antibiotics for my cantankerous behavior because I had another episode of epic fail blogness this morning (although now that I think about it, I did just finish taking another round of antibiotics for yet another stomach bug. 'Tis the rainy season here, and infections are rampant!) I was preparing to sheath the tables in the junior chapel this morning with our own tablecloths, when I noticed that the table where we place refreshments had a hot water dispenser on it. Thinking it was empty and that it would be an easy move, I grabbed the two handles to move the dispenser to the ground. It actually was completely full of water, and even though it was very heavy and I knew that moving it by myself was probably biting off more than I could chew, I decided to plow ahead and move it to the ground out of sight. The cord to the dispenser was caught on the coffee maker next to me, and I found that I could not set the dispenser flat on the ground unless there was slack from the cord. I was inches/centimeters from the ground, trying desperately to balance the dispenser and also grab the cord so I could release my burden. When the cord was almost in my fingers, I felt the dispenser slip out of my hands and flip 90 degrees, spilling its contents. Fortunately, it was only water – but it was a lot of water, and it spread quickly under the tables and towards the door of the chapel. Very slippery and dangerous for people walking in and out during the morning!

We did manage to find two mops to at least soak up the damage, but no bucket with a contraption to squeeze out the water. Our kindhearted Pak, one of the head groundsmen at SPH, wiped up the water and wrung the mop with his hands with expert skill. One of my teammates took the other mop and also wrung the water out by hand. Since I love cleaning, I think ordinarily I would have felt the shame of being useless as a watcher. I felt humbled actually as I watched these two men wiping up the mess that I had made. It really reminded me of what Christ did when he died on the cross – that it was to make right my wrongs, to shed his perfect blood to justify me for all of the ways that I fall short. Those men didn’t need yet another thing to think about this morning, let alone clean up someone else’s mess, even if it was just water. I, being the judgmental person that I am, would probably let someone in my shoes know just how wrong they were to screw up that badly, and to keep reminding him or her of it. Instead, I heard the older Indonesian man who is probably my dad’s age saying, “nggak apa-apa,” [never mind] in response to my “ma’afkan kami,” [forgive us]. Humbling to think that all it takes to make right wrongs is to admit error, to confess sin, and to say, “Forgive me.” That Jesus was willing to clean up my mess, at no cost to me, but cost everything to Him when he died on the cross. Just some food for thought.

So it turns out that I actually love writing so much that I would rather wait a while and turn out a piece that is profound and well thought out – which is why I have neglected to post anything about Christmas or New Year’s or our recent January retreat and anything in between. Those were special times in my life thus far and definitely worthy of mention. I know it’s getting close to February and things like Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year (which happen to be on the same day this year!) and December happenings might not seems so relevant. We’ll see how I end up updating regarding those things. But for now, this is my attempt at fail blogging less…(e.g. posting more)

As always, thanks for reading!